Friday, April 10, 2009

What am I doing?

From the last few days, I am increasingly thinking that I am wasting time as a PhD student.. What am I learning in the classroom, at my work, from other places in Hawaiʻi.. Nothing that I can think of as useful for better jobs, or the jobs that I can think of... My job currently pays OK (17$ an hour)... But what is my role? I am just a student assistant.. this job could be done by any undergrad.. There is nothing new that I learn.. I have no autonomy to bring my ideas to my work.. If I do they are dismissed by my boss anyway... I feel like I have regressed 15 years in life!!! In terms of studies, I am learning nothing that is of any practical use... At least I canʻt think of any!! I have no consolation.. Yea, may be the nice weather of Hawaiʻi is something for which this is not a bad price.. But I feel really WASTED... I should be improving on the skills and knowledge that I already possess, rather than just try to survive here... I think I should have tried to become ABD long time ago.. Once I am ABD, I should go back to Pakistan and try to find a proper job which gives respect, growth and money, all at the same time, and these are precisely the factors that are missing from the work that I am doing in Hawaiʻi.

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